I am thinking...

I am thinking about running home Friday to make a depsoit into my bank so Ican have some money just one problem, I don't know if I will have cash by then, and I would like some comapny jist for a quick day trip there and back, maybe stop and see a friend while he is at work.

almost 2 min

that's another thing I think I am gonna do Grr. I am defintely gonna try to change the way I eat , and pretty much my whole lifestyle. I am tired of being fat and ugly and unwanted. Cause I can't amnage to attract anyne I want's attention with this flabby pale body, I am learning some tools in my Nutrion class that I think I could make my own diet from that would fit my own likes and tastes but also can try to include some stuff, that honestly kind of tastes decent or isn't as nasty as I thought like Tofu or Tempeh, gonna be trying Seitan next week I think. but the real challenge or question is will I actually follow through with it??? Will I actually get my ass to a gym and use it on a regular basis?? who knows?

I must really la...

I must really lack social skills , seems I can't keep a conversation going with someone they all stop talking to me after a very short time. One guy I guess I pissed off cause I was like back up before I tell you my REAL name you beter tell me about you, share a pic if you have one, talk to me first? and he was kind offended by that cause he wanted it to be something more than a picture exchange. Hell I look at it this way, Ok you know what I look like regardless of how well we hit it off if I am not interested in you physically AIN"T NOTHING EVER! EVER! EVER! gonna happen unless you are lucky enough to be around me when I will actually let myself relax enough and get drunk ( ok well more buzzed than I would ever let myself be in public). So I am shallow, I want my cake and I want eat it too!I do not want to compromise on my wants anymore, If I can't find someone that I think is physically hot as hell to me and I can enjoy being around regardless of how much we talk as long as we do comminicate and a little list of other wants and desires and and requirements. Then I am gonna fucking stay single and celibate or hell I might just make my dad happy and try the other sex. I don't get this shit about you still young you got time. WHo cares if I got time, and how do they know how long I am gonna live!? Ok yeah over simplifying it a bit, butt come on, I really don't want to be 55 or older when I find someone, I know a good portion of my HS class is married, engaged, pregnant, already has kids, divorced, graduated , and business owners. and here I am still in school single broke, ok so the having kids ain't bothering me much other thanI don't know if I would want to be a father. and I know I want to get married! despite waht the fucking country says I am all for moving out of this shit hole country to somewhere that would accpt me having a husband and I probably could make a good living there too. You know what I think I am just gonna pull down all my profiles and just hide for awhile, its not like they are doing me any good. Ok till next surge of emotion and thoughts. which might be in 2 min

Grr I don't k...

Grr I don't know how to start this, but I can feel I am getting depressed cause everyone keeps asking my plans for the weekend. In which I honestly have to answer I don't have any. other than probably sitting here at home. with got me to thinking about the lack of involvement I have in other peoples lives or other people have in mine. I could very easily just move to some remote area with few neighbors and it wouldn't be any different than my life now. I have people in this city that call me a friend but it seems they don't think of me. When I do try to talk to them, I always find out they have plans, and me being raised the way I was, I will not and can not bring myself to force myself an invitation to do something. And I hate trying to come up with something to do and invite people cause no one ever seems to want to do what I had come up with or they already have done it. or have plans to do something else or plans to do the same thing with someone else. its just very frustrating and depressing. Then i can't help but wodeirng why these people think of me as a friend or are they just saying it to my face and come up with any excuse to avoid me? Cause I am starting to feel bad about the feeling about one friend that has been the only one to show genuine interest in my company and repeatedly invite me over to do stuff or try to involve me in his life and he in mine. And before anyone jumps on me this is applying to people I have known more than 6 months to a year. Cause many of yall that I think read these I have only known since I or you have moved here. But this one friend out of all my other gay or straight has bothered to do much with me with out me feeling like I am forcing myself into your life, or interrupting things you would rather be doing without thinking of me. I probably onnly have maybe 3 people that could come close to being a best friend if I ever wanted to call someone that. On a Side note for those that went through that Fuck buddy application, I hope you realize that it is more for laughs and more than likely won't be taken seriously. CAuse the ones that have I just knew you would fill it out. Besides it wouldn't do you any good. I don't have much of a sex drive anymore, and even when I am around guys that should be getting me aroused nothing happens not even when they touch me. Maybe I just don't care for theirgame and I know that all it is to them so I am taking myself out of it even thought Surprise the big brain wants otherwise.!

What ...

What do people really think about you? by Raven319NameAgefavorite songParents thinkYou're too sensitiveStrangers thinkYou're smartFriends thinkYou need a fuck buddyCreated with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

:)

:) Happy Cub dance for no damn reason! maybe delirious!? who knows but I am happy for now!