AWAKE NOW!

Hmm I been wondering why my sound has been so crappy lately. While listening to my Staind DVDA disc, I was looking at the settings and pressed the one labeled THX OH damn nearly gave myself a heart attack with that volume and sound jump!

I LOVE PIX...

I LOVE PIXAR!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like a trip!

New Resons to fly???

My li...

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Your Sexual Profi...

Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you...) by sparkledeeNameYour Secret Kink ThingHiding things.(Look!No hands) Your Sexual StrengthYour smoldering kisses... Your Sexual WeaknessYou're stiff & mechanical. Your Likely STDGenital Herpes How Many Partners in Crime?1 Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

where I been?

create your own visited states map or write about it on the open travel guide

The Truth!

YAY!!! the truth comes out! am offically a jerk and not friendly, appareantly as people online are concerned!Offender ): wow that sucks, we talked along time ago on the phone... we were both playing video games or somethinghgmss (5:44:11 PM): umm no we didn'tOffender (5:45:47 PM): dont know, your sorta a jerk arnt you, or your just over this shit?hgmss (5:46:31 PM): ???????hgmss (5:46:54 PM): I know we have never talked on the phone cause I rarely ever give out my number hgmss (5:47:25 PM): If I am a jerk fine. just keeps away people who can't see past that and they aren't worth my time.

Updates and beginning of redesign

I made Some changes!

I am thinking...

I am thinking about running home Friday to make a depsoit into my bank so Ican have some money just one problem, I don't know if I will have cash by then, and I would like some comapny jist for a quick day trip there and back, maybe stop and see a friend while he is at work.

almost 2 min

that's another thing I think I am gonna do Grr. I am defintely gonna try to change the way I eat , and pretty much my whole lifestyle. I am tired of being fat and ugly and unwanted. Cause I can't amnage to attract anyne I want's attention with this flabby pale body, I am learning some tools in my Nutrion class that I think I could make my own diet from that would fit my own likes and tastes but also can try to include some stuff, that honestly kind of tastes decent or isn't as nasty as I thought like Tofu or Tempeh, gonna be trying Seitan next week I think. but the real challenge or question is will I actually follow through with it??? Will I actually get my ass to a gym and use it on a regular basis?? who knows?

I must really la...

I must really lack social skills , seems I can't keep a conversation going with someone they all stop talking to me after a very short time. One guy I guess I pissed off cause I was like back up before I tell you my REAL name you beter tell me about you, share a pic if you have one, talk to me first? and he was kind offended by that cause he wanted it to be something more than a picture exchange. Hell I look at it this way, Ok you know what I look like regardless of how well we hit it off if I am not interested in you physically AIN"T NOTHING EVER! EVER! EVER! gonna happen unless you are lucky enough to be around me when I will actually let myself relax enough and get drunk ( ok well more buzzed than I would ever let myself be in public). So I am shallow, I want my cake and I want eat it too!I do not want to compromise on my wants anymore, If I can't find someone that I think is physically hot as hell to me and I can enjoy being around regardless of how much we talk as long as we do comminicate and a little list of other wants and desires and and requirements. Then I am gonna fucking stay single and celibate or hell I might just make my dad happy and try the other sex. I don't get this shit about you still young you got time. WHo cares if I got time, and how do they know how long I am gonna live!? Ok yeah over simplifying it a bit, butt come on, I really don't want to be 55 or older when I find someone, I know a good portion of my HS class is married, engaged, pregnant, already has kids, divorced, graduated , and business owners. and here I am still in school single broke, ok so the having kids ain't bothering me much other thanI don't know if I would want to be a father. and I know I want to get married! despite waht the fucking country says I am all for moving out of this shit hole country to somewhere that would accpt me having a husband and I probably could make a good living there too. You know what I think I am just gonna pull down all my profiles and just hide for awhile, its not like they are doing me any good. Ok till next surge of emotion and thoughts. which might be in 2 min

Grr I don't k...

Grr I don't know how to start this, but I can feel I am getting depressed cause everyone keeps asking my plans for the weekend. In which I honestly have to answer I don't have any. other than probably sitting here at home. with got me to thinking about the lack of involvement I have in other peoples lives or other people have in mine. I could very easily just move to some remote area with few neighbors and it wouldn't be any different than my life now. I have people in this city that call me a friend but it seems they don't think of me. When I do try to talk to them, I always find out they have plans, and me being raised the way I was, I will not and can not bring myself to force myself an invitation to do something. And I hate trying to come up with something to do and invite people cause no one ever seems to want to do what I had come up with or they already have done it. or have plans to do something else or plans to do the same thing with someone else. its just very frustrating and depressing. Then i can't help but wodeirng why these people think of me as a friend or are they just saying it to my face and come up with any excuse to avoid me? Cause I am starting to feel bad about the feeling about one friend that has been the only one to show genuine interest in my company and repeatedly invite me over to do stuff or try to involve me in his life and he in mine. And before anyone jumps on me this is applying to people I have known more than 6 months to a year. Cause many of yall that I think read these I have only known since I or you have moved here. But this one friend out of all my other gay or straight has bothered to do much with me with out me feeling like I am forcing myself into your life, or interrupting things you would rather be doing without thinking of me. I probably onnly have maybe 3 people that could come close to being a best friend if I ever wanted to call someone that. On a Side note for those that went through that Fuck buddy application, I hope you realize that it is more for laughs and more than likely won't be taken seriously. CAuse the ones that have I just knew you would fill it out. Besides it wouldn't do you any good. I don't have much of a sex drive anymore, and even when I am around guys that should be getting me aroused nothing happens not even when they touch me. Maybe I just don't care for theirgame and I know that all it is to them so I am taking myself out of it even thought Surprise the big brain wants otherwise.!

What ...

What do people really think about you? by Raven319NameAgefavorite songParents thinkYou're too sensitiveStrangers thinkYou're smartFriends thinkYou need a fuck buddyCreated with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

:)

:) Happy Cub dance for no damn reason! maybe delirious!? who knows but I am happy for now!

Extremely long list of cuss words!

F@*&!%$!!!!!!!!I don't believe it I am waiting on my fucking roof to cave n on me. I think its time me and my roomate break lease and move elsewhere!

Political section!

DOWN WITH BUSH!!!

EH day

Sundays are boring days. I got woken up by friends to go eat at Agnes and Muriel's, good food but a bit pricey. then we went to Amsterdam Walk. and looked at furniture. And I got a nice pair of leather chaps, but I am gonna have to take them to Foreskins now and have them fixed and reinforced I didn't notice the stitching was weak where it needs to be the strongest. But I can't complain too much a pair of chaps for sale that were my size even if they are a bit long and for only 50 bucks! I wish I could remember a dream I had recently so I could figure out why I dremt it, cause of the twisted and demented squirrle trying to kill me or something in it. kind of reminded me of the squirrel from Ice Age.

mr happy???...

mr happy???

I ama such a ...

I ama such a stupid,stupid,stupid,stupid idiot!!!!!! When will I learn to just take things at face value and not read into it. ARRGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It simple I must love putting myself through this stupid sensless toture and see how bad I can make it. It's no one's fault but my own. I only go after guys I can't have or are remotely interested in me for anything. If I do have sex with them they think that will get rid of me. I am just simpleton witha glutton for pain and punishment. Oneday I am gonna stress myself out over this and my head will explode. Maybe then I will be happy. Maybe I can do better this quarter and just focus on school, Yeah right. Oh well

Morons!

How does someone send you a fucking contact sheet and expect pics in return???You can't see shit on a contact sheet unless the image file is ungodly huge!.

OK I...

OK I guess its a bad sign when you dream about someone you can't have.!

I am ...

I am The EmpressThe Empress can refer to any aspect of Motherhood. She can be an individual mother, but as a major arcana card, she also goes beyond the specifics of mothering to its essence - the creation of life and its sustenance through loving care and attention. The Empress can also represent lavish abundance of all kinds. She offers a cornucopia of delights, especially those of the senses - food, pleasure and beauty. She can suggest material reward, but only with the understanding that riches go with a generous and open spirit. The Empress asks you to embrace the principle of life and enjoy its bountiful goodness.For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.comWhat tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.Month: Day: Year: Odd according to this book I have my card should be Death.

What Makes You ...

What Makes You Sexy? by eva71Name/NickNameGenderSexy Body Part IsYour EyesSpecial Talents AreNibblingCreated with quill18's MemeGen!

COnfused!! PERSONAL!!!!!!! Do not discuss outside of me

OK just go ahead and tell me I am stupid for this but. I have tenative plans to hang out with this really cute cub, ( in what manner we are hanging out I do not know nor do I know what his motives are) but this cub as I am told by some friends that are a couple are considering him to a third in their relationship. But I also get the vibe from the cub that he wants to date. and I am not entirely sure about his feelings on being their third. I am pretty sure they have talked to him about it but at the same time I am not sure they have either. Either way If he is going to be the third I need to set up boundaries, but I am nervous about asking cause I don't want to offend and all. I would like to keep these friends seeing s how they are the first ones I have had in Atlanta and the ones that like to include me into things. well have inlcuded me in the past, but we have grown apart. Maybe this weekend is a sign that that will change. I was so stupid for messing around with them this weekend then sleeping with that cub all snuggled up to him. The fact I actually slept is amazing to me only done that one other time and that was only after a hike that nearly gave me heat stroke and a few hours of sex afterwhich neither of moved from the positon we fell asleep in that night. Maybe just another case of being overly tired and nothing more. I do believe I will hang out with him but I will personally refrain from making advances.

BLAH!

I do wish I knew why I keep bangin my head against the wall about the issue of a finding a BF. The energy spent on it and the engery spent in the emotions broguht up are wasted and only serve to muddle things up even more. Plus I really need to learn why I am attracted to these guys I don't have much of a chance with it is lust? an actual connection? or am I that desperate for a BF that I will try for any possible connection no matter how painful, or harmful it could be to me or the other person? I am also wondering why I am even making connection with people as friends. Its becoming a bit too appareant that the only connection I have with many of them is sex. Not that I have had sex with them all but we all seem to have simliar interests beyond the general like of men. Every time I have been to hang out with a friend in the past few weeks there really hasn't been a topic of discussion in many of the conversations that I know anything about. So I end up feeling like a retard cause I don't know this stuff. and even if I did know it I doubt I'd come up with anything worthwhile to say about it or that correct. I am hoping that if I go to the Eagle tonight I will be able to hang out with friends and hopefully laugh at people. Cause I sure could use that about now. Well I guess that's all for now.