Grr I don't k...

Grr I don't know how to start this, but I can feel I am getting depressed cause everyone keeps asking my plans for the weekend. In which I honestly have to answer I don't have any. other than probably sitting here at home. with got me to thinking about the lack of involvement I have in other peoples lives or other people have in mine. I could very easily just move to some remote area with few neighbors and it wouldn't be any different than my life now. I have people in this city that call me a friend but it seems they don't think of me. When I do try to talk to them, I always find out they have plans, and me being raised the way I was, I will not and can not bring myself to force myself an invitation to do something. And I hate trying to come up with something to do and invite people cause no one ever seems to want to do what I had come up with or they already have done it. or have plans to do something else or plans to do the same thing with someone else. its just very frustrating and depressing. Then i can't help but wodeirng why these people think of me as a friend or are they just saying it to my face and come up with any excuse to avoid me? Cause I am starting to feel bad about the feeling about one friend that has been the only one to show genuine interest in my company and repeatedly invite me over to do stuff or try to involve me in his life and he in mine. And before anyone jumps on me this is applying to people I have known more than 6 months to a year. Cause many of yall that I think read these I have only known since I or you have moved here. But this one friend out of all my other gay or straight has bothered to do much with me with out me feeling like I am forcing myself into your life, or interrupting things you would rather be doing without thinking of me. I probably onnly have maybe 3 people that could come close to being a best friend if I ever wanted to call someone that. On a Side note for those that went through that Fuck buddy application, I hope you realize that it is more for laughs and more than likely won't be taken seriously. CAuse the ones that have I just knew you would fill it out. Besides it wouldn't do you any good. I don't have much of a sex drive anymore, and even when I am around guys that should be getting me aroused nothing happens not even when they touch me. Maybe I just don't care for theirgame and I know that all it is to them so I am taking myself out of it even thought Surprise the big brain wants otherwise.!